Merkel’s weekly podcast on Syrian invasion vote

Every weekend Angela Merkel gives us her pearls of wisdom in the form of a podcast. She lectures the nation on various matters from an elevated position inside her highly protected Chancellery  compound in Berlin.

This weekend, Merkel took great pains to explain her decision to send German military forces to invade Syria. Merkel does not have a UN mandate and she does not have an invitation from the Syrian government. That means the German military are an invading force just like the US, UK and French military are invading forces. In fact, Russia is the only country which has been invited by the Syrian government to give military support in its fight against ISIS.

Merkel’s podcast…

For those of you who do not speak  any Deutsch, this is a very rough, very quick translation of Merkel’s address to the nation…

“War theatre Syria. For years, US, UK and Israeli funded ISIS terrorists have tried to remove President Assad. Now German Tornado fighters and troops will join the invasion. Wave after wave of air strikes by US, French, British and German air forces inside Syria have pulverized civilian cities and increased the number of refugees fleeing Syria and heading for Germany.

Now Germany’s Tornadoes will join their air strikes uncoordinated with Assad, and destroy cities and force people to flee to Germany.

Many of them on arriving here will join ISIS and launch revenge attacks against the German people. Armed to the teeth with machine guns, shot guns, and missles, and orgnized by US, UK and Israeli fixers, they will start a reign of terror in our Fatherland!  Don’t worry, Germans. Merkel is here to protect you. I am your Leader, above the law, inviting millions to Germany I breach of EU and German rules.

My response to any threat to the Homeland will be determined. I will pour more German planes, shiprs troops into Syria, bomb more civilians, help more migrants to reach Germany,  and increase the terror threat by disgruntled migrants in the Fatherland.

I will stage propaganda events to entertain and frighten you all. You will see German planes soaring through the skies, only to be shot down by wicked enemies. Innocent blond pilots in orange overalls held in chains by ISIS. High quality footage of their torture will be played on Bild and Spiegel, Focus and ARD every morning and every evening until the day when they are finally beheaded. I will whip you into a frenzy of hatred so that you won’t notice ECB engineered hyper inflation as our system of the private creation of money collapses under debt.

I plan to conscript every single male into the Middle East inferno. That will leave ISIS and millions of disaffected migrants to terrorize civilians. I plan to conscript every single woman into the Bund Deutsche Madel to look after migrants and if millions are raped…. Well, within one generation, Germany will indeed be Muslim. I do this because I love you. I love you like Eric Honecker loved you! But you didn’t love me. Ungrateful, Germans! What do I care? I have my offshore bank accounts and a hiding place in Argentina!”

Well, that’s unusually frank of Merkel.  My Deutsch might be getting a bit rusty…


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