Exclusive video of Putin, Trump meeting

A transcript of the top secret meeting between Donald Trump and Vlad Putin on the sidelines of the G 20 has fallen into my hands, althought I cannot vouch for the source or for the Russian translation…

To me, it looks suspiciously like a scene from the Godfather.

Putin: Where’s the hurry?

Trump: The hurry? I’m heading to f king jail. Years in the slammer. So is my daughter and son in law. The Feds are turning over every stone. They’ve found the dirty money, the loans, got transcripts of all our secret talks with Kislyak. September I have to publish my tax returns. Then, the game will be up.

Putin: What do you want me to do?

Trump: I want them all dead.

Putin: All? Be precise? Who?

Trump: Mika, Joe, Mueller, Comey…I’ve got a list of 5000 names.

Putin: That’s a lot of names.

Trump: You’ve got the muscle. You send the hit teams to the USA. Erik has said he’ll help you out with his mercenaries

Putin: Got a plan?

Trump: I invite them all to the White House. Each one gets an invitation to what looks to them like a one to one talk or dinner or executive order. When they arrive at the same time, you take them all into custody with the help of my bodyguard Keith. We fake a plane crash on the White House grounds. Say, they died in that. Next, we start an Ebola false flag. Get the whole USA under quarantine and vaxxed up.

Putin: Ambitious.

Trump: Listen, I ve got nothing left to lose. I don’t want to end up in jail.

Putin: If you had shown me the hand of friendship, instead of a flat palm…

Trump: What do you mean?

Putin: I put you there. It was my hackers, my muscle, my money…And you humiliated me in front of the cameras with that handshake…

Trump: Yeah, but I never wanted to run for prez in the first place. You forced me. You promised me I’d never win. Now, look at the mess.

Putin: And what if it backfires and the plot is uncovered. Do you think we can just blame the attempted murder of 5000 people at the White House by Russian hit men on the fake media?

Trump: Sure. It’s so Yuge, so bold, so evil, no one will believe it. Why not talk to Erik in the Seychells, team up with him, just do it soon. I’m cracking up under the strain. You know how long it is since I had a proper coke binge and orgy?

Putin: 24 hours. I saw the clip of the red strobe lights in the White House the other day.

Trump: You can laugh here in Moscow. But if I go down, so will you.

Putin: Don’t worry. I will take care of them, Smolensk style.

Trump: Just one thing, I want Mika and Joe delivered to me in person. I’m going to make them apologize to me. I want them grovelling at my feet. Understood.

Putin: Where should we take Mika and Joe?

Trump: Mar a Lago. I’ll arrange for a cellar in a remote out house for them.

Putin: Whatever keeps you happy.

Trump: I want Comey and Mueller too in that cell.

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